Ok, so after avoiding Tumblr today - a feat that is REALLY hard considering I’m pretty much addicted and really I wanted to watch the episode so bad but it took forever to download - and finally download the episode I just sat there and smiled throughout the entire episode.
This was amazing!
From the get-go it was like :O HOLY SHIT WHAT IS QUINN DOING? Then, omg! Trouty mouth is back! And yes, even though I’m not a Sam!Fan I am excited about this, since I’ve watched “Red Solo Cup” on youtube yesterday.
And now it’s KuBlastian and this:
Will NEVER stop being funny after “Smirky little meerkat face and CW hair”.
And of course Darren has to be an amazing actor and just kill me with his facial expressions and finally talking about Finn getting down on him; and then the Kurt-Sebastian confrontation has me going ‘woah!’ cuz Sebastian’s meanness has just surface and it’s just fucking hot! That and Kurt’s defensiveness about Blaine! Aww, can they just get married already?
Sam as a stripper - “That’s not an image I can ever get out of my mind” - as poorly constructed a sentence as it is, Finn, I could never agree with you more! HOLYMOTHEROF…..
Sam’s parents - JOHN SCHNEIDER IS SAM’S DAD!!!! AHHHH! As much as I love that scene, that was pretty much the only thing I could think about.
Band Memeber Joining - haha! That’s hilarious
Red Solo Cup - Kurt’s Titanic reference XD! And weirdest song to ever be performed on Glee! HANDS DOWN! Fun to see it, Chord’s vocals are much better not autotuned! Kurt “What’s wrong with you?” oh dear, Blaine is losing it even with sparkling cider? oh boy. Cory’s acting is much better and Damian just lost it! Basically - this scene was WEIRD, FUN and hilarious.
Santana’s speech - Damian’s face - all the while with the cider inside his mouth puffing out his cheeks, it’s just cute! Laughed like crazy! Haha, the writers are going nuts!
Tike #1 - Tina is amazing and Mike is being and idiot. No freaking way! Gah! I hate Mike!!!!
Dancing class - haha, Blaine’s feet! Rory: “Sir, girls smell better than ham, and when they’re dancing you can’t help watching!” - wow, he’s a genius! Blaine’s dancing - best ever and of course, Dalton-infused, Kurt: “CUTE!” and then you wanna hit Sam. You can’t sell sex - look where it got Klaine last year! - and the body roll? So not turning me on, and what’s wrong wtih boybands? Worked for Backstreet Boys! Omg, Kurt stop getting turned on by Blaine’s failed attempt at immitating Sam and being disappointed that he’s dismissing it! You have to stop being cute! Ok, so maybe Blaine was out of line but backstory!!! And that nearly-fight was so hot! GAH! Lady boners!
Gym - ok can I just say that sweaty Blaine is possibly the sexiest thing I’ve seen? And hot damn, the acting! AHHH! Woah, wait a hot damn second. Blaine has anger management issues? Backstory! I love you! I love you writers! I love Bradley Beucker! (Director, don’t correct my spelling) and Dalton Fight Club… wait, why can’t he talk about it? NO! He has to talk about it! Need to hear about it! Damn him for talking with his face! Look at this!
This is just… I don’t even have words! And now Blinn friendship XD Yayyy!
Samcedes - wait, woah! Eep! Never thought I’d be shipping it this hard!
Tina facing Mr. Chang - You go, Tina! Mr. Chang, go fuck an elephant (no offense, Mrs. Chang, you’re hot)
Vocal Warming - “you wanna sing from your diaphgram (spelling?) as much as you can” - uh duh?! - “and if you forget the lyrics keep your lips moving, hopefully they wouldn’t notice” - again, showchoir BASICS! these guys have been playing behind you since season 1, they’re bound to learn something!!!
Shelby and the Troubletones - aww hell no! They’re not even aware to their own bitchiness??? Well, except for Sugar. Wait, Puck coming through? Ugh, Quinn, shut the fuck up!
Rachel not singing - woah! Lea, you’re amazing with your face!
Judges - women totally not up for it (judge and something favorite of something… not paying attention)… only male and a clown and totally ecstatic, aww! I love you, Tickles! And so does Sugar!
Unitards - ok, what the actual fuck were they thinking when they were picking that name???? It’s worse than Teenage Scream! (Nationals last year) But sweet hell, I love that song “what’s new, Buenos Aires?” and Lindsay killed it! I love the performance so much! “Oh my God, it’s the Gerber Baby!”
Shelby-Quinn - Oh for God’s sake, I’m so fed up with this plotline already! Stop! It’s really getting out of hand.
Troubletones - Uh… can you say wow? Absolutely breathtaking, I thought I was gonna faint!
New Directions - Ok, what did I say last year? Stop calling them Nude Erections!
ABC - yay for Tina vocals and wait just … what… WHAT?! Kurt?! Kurt singing low key? WHAT?! FINALLY!!!! And teaching us about English! And Mike - I… I can’t! I can’t anymore! Mr. Chang! Yay! Sebastian get the fuck out of… wait, did Kurt just… ok, stay! Yay Samcedes! Ok, for bandboys they’re not that bad… How… how do the guys do that move? I wanna learn that! (I’m a girli)
Control - ugh, not again! Quinn, get over yourself! Blartie!!!! Forever! That’s it, that’s the only male-duet I wanna hear forever more! Amazing! Fantastic! I can’t… eeep! (And yes, I sound like a flailing teenager right now) Wait, did Artie just do upper-body choreography? DAMN!
Man In the Mirror - Ok, I thought this was gonna get awful. I’ll shamefully admit that I did not recognize the Mike, Puck, Sam and Blaine vocals… I feel so awful, I’m usually awesome at this! But ohmygod, a male quintet, can I love them forever?! Ok, I’m tearing up because Puck just went back to his choreography from his days in the Acafellas! Wait, WHAT?! BLAINE is the one doing the ‘ooh!’ sounds? Aww, and of course they had to be cliche and have Mike be the one to say “Make that change” awww! HUGGIES! (Not the diapers)
Mr. Chang agreeing to Mike wanting to dance - I still want you to go fuck an elephant, then come back so I can hug you, ok?
“I love you so much” - me too!
3rd place - “Just to think that I’m only a sophomore and I’m already that good. Next year is gonna be a bloodbath.” HA! I’m sad to see Harmony leave… she was a nice refreshment!
New Directions winning - so wait, Kurt, Blaine, Artie, Tike and Top Dogs are better than the 3F’s? Awww hell no! But they were good, so I’ll concede.
Faberry - well, it was bound to happen sometime, innit?
Troubletones back in New Directions - finally! I mean, I really like the lady power and all, but I miss the Mertie (Mercedes and Artie) duets and the Santana jokes
We Are Young - wow! They could not be anymore cliche than that, could they? Totally cheesy and predictable and adorable!
Bradley Buecker directed - I like!
Overall it was a rounding episode that closed almost all of the loose edges (only one left is KuBlastian, and if that ends soon I’mma throw a fit! Cuz as much as I love Klaine, I WANT Grant to be on the show for as long as possible).
Next episiode: “Merry Extraordinary Christmas” - can’t wait! Yes, I’ll be reviewing it, too. And you can bet I’ll be an emotional wreck!